Posted: 05/02/19 | may 19th, 2019
Kristin Addis from Be My travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an essential topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her guidance for other women travelers to help cover the topics essential and particular to them! In this month’s article, she shows us how solo travelers can deal with traveling as an introvert!
Recently, I traveled to Oakland to attend a birthday brunch. I didn’t know anybody besides the birthday girl. As an introvert, situations where I don’t know anybody are hard for me.
Per usual, I was pretty unpleasant at first, choosing to stick close to the one person I knew and to kill time by slowly pouring myself a coffee and eating a fruit plate at tortoise speed.
But, as time passed, I began conversing with one new person, then another, and then practically everyone who was there. I met really interesting and friendly people, and by the end of it, I was so happy that I went and that I stayed.
When I’m at home, though, I tend to put off going out to do easy things that involve personal interactions, like grocery shopping, until the last minute. It can get pretty ridiculous, to be honest.
Yet on the road it’s so much simpler to get out and explore and especially to meet new people. Why is that?
In a word: dopamine.
According to professors Daniel Z. Lieberman and Michael E. long in The Molecule of More, dopamine, which plays a major role in reward-motivated behavior, is what pushes us to try new things. In addition, researchers Nico Bunzeck and Emrah Düzel found, through MRI scans, that the reward center of our brain is stimulated much more by novelty than familiarity.
Therefore, we are hardwired to explore and crave newness. It’s the anticipation of the unknown — and how exciting it could be — that encourages us to go beyond our comfort zones.
So, while it can be challenging for introverts to method people and venture outside to do routine things at home, where everything is familiar, when we’re on the road we have dopamine on our side.
This scientific explanation makes sense to me. When I’m traveling and experience a moment of true novelty, I feel like I’m riding a natural high, something much more pleasant than I could ever try to manufacture. Newness feels good, so traveling feels good, and being an extrovert in these moments comes naturally.
So just know that even if you tend to be shy and uninterested in going to random house parties or even the grocery store at home, you may find that you have renewed energy for meeting people (and feeding yourself) on the road. It helps tremendously that many other people are also feeling that dopamine rush from traveling, so they’re in a much more approachable state, too.
I used to joke that at home in southern California I had no idea how to make new friends. Do I just walk up to them at a café and ask what they like to do during their totally free time?
The truth is, on the road, the answer is “yes.” It’s often that simple. Travelers are by and large much more receptive and friendlier than many of us are probably used to back home. because we’re all getting dopamine rewards for meeting new people and exploring new places, it becomes simpler for both parties to be much more open on the road.
I used to worry that I’d worry approaching new people, but I rarely even have to start a conversation. If all else fails, “Where are you from?” is a perfectly acceptable way to break the ice, an easy question that everyone has an answer to. I’ve had random bus, hostel, and café conversations that have turned into lifelong friendships, and I’ve had others that only served to entertain me for the afternoon; both are of value, and I never know which I might get.
I love having no schedule and no fixed plans. This is one of the gifts of solo traveling. That said, booking activities ahead of time and paying some kind of deposit can be of help to introverts who might otherwise find reasons why they ought to stay inside. I’m sure my fellow introverts recognize the scenario of waking up the day of a trip you’ve booked, wishing you could cancel, but because you’ve already paid, you end up going and having the best time. having some skin in the game makes us way much more likely to honor our commitments.
Personally, it’s tempting to cancel even if it’s something fun that I honestly want to do. If I didn’t prebook things in life, I’d never exercise, dive, or explore. It would be too easy to keep putting them off.
For example, I booked an island excursion on Nusa Penida and a cooking class in Chiang Mai, and led a group hiking trip of Torres del Paine in Patagonia that the women participants prepaid for. numerous of them tended to be much more introverted, but in a group activity like that, other solo travelers tend to show up, which helps everyone to be much more social and open.
I’ve also found that staying inan accommodation that is social by nature, like a yoga or meditation retreat, or heading to places that are known for an activity I love, like scuba diving in Indonesia, can make my introversion simpler to handle. knowing that the others there will also be into the activity that I’m into gives us common ground, something to talk about, and the activity itself allows us to bond over a week or two. some of my favorite people are those whom I met on a dive boat or week of deep spiritual practice.
Though all of these are “hacks” for becoming a much more extroverted traveler, we introverts tend to get our energy from time spent alone. At some point we need some “me” time — and this is why solo travel can be so wonderful. part of the charm of solo travel is the time that you get to spend with yourself. You won’t disappoint anybody by needing time alone, nor will you have to push anybody away or force yourself into an activity you’re not really feeling.
I used to get down on myself if I went a few days without meeting new people. I’d fret over moments that I felt I’d “wasted” by reading in bed or chilling out for the day. now I realize how essential those days are too. I get to recharge by taking it easy and practicing self-care. and that’s a big reason why we travel too, isn’t it? We want to treat ourselves.
So please don’t feel bad if you’re traveling and you just don’t feel like going out that day, don’t want to be social, or feel like getting room service. It’s alright to do those things if it’s what you feel you need.
Listening to yourself is the most essential part of solo traveling, anyway. This is something I’ve learned as a solo traveler in my 30s, and it’s made me delight in traveling even more.
Knowing that you’ll have dopamine on your side, that you will meet people much more easily on the road, and that you’ll be able to make real-time decisions about what’s best for you, you’ll be better off making the leap and traveling solo.
Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s practically nothing she won’t try and practically nowhere she won’t explore. You can find much more of her musings at Be My travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.
Book Your Trip: Logistical suggestions and Tricks
Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner. It’s my favorite search engine because it searches sites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.
Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the most affordable rates for guesthouses and hotels.
Don’t forget travel Insurance
Travel insurance will safeguard you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s extensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it numerous times in the past. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:
SafetyWing (best for everyone)
Insure My trip (for those over 70)
Medjet (for additional evacuation coverage)
Ready to book Your Trip?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel. I list all the ones I use when I travel. They are the best in class and you can’t go wrong using them on your trip.